“Everybody has days like this, sis” my big brother simply said, after checking on me for a bit longer than he usually can.
We didn’t really talk about it, because…well, what new thing is there to say when you’re feeling kind of disheartened for no ‘apparent’ reason? You already know what to do about it…find & remember the blessings around and within you. It’s just that actually doing that can be hard sometimes.
By the way, I have recently talked about paying attention to little signs & affirmations, and although what my brother said, on its own, would have its own meaning, the fact that he told me today, in the simple way he did, & even the fact that he had time to chat, made it so it is a part of this healing package that would end up forming with the addition of books and an IG post. And that makes it an affirmation. This is some dope sh*t! Let me explain 🙂
This morning I decided that after our kids went to school I would read something from a few books. I looked on the shelves knowing the one book I was sure of, would be one of Baha’i prayers. I hadn’t opened it in a while.
I got that, I got The Book of Rumi, The Heartfulness Way, a notebook in which I write stories & such, and The Four Agreements.
I found a room with lighting that felt best, sat down, and before doing anything else I made the simple suggestion that my heart is filled with divine light or grace. Something I picked up from practicing a heart-base meditation that uses yogic transmission.
n.b.: For each book I closed my eyes, let my heart lead & randomly chose the writings/Writings.
The first experience was while reading the long healing prayer revealed by Baha’u’llah. Now, let me tell you about this prayer. This is one of them prayers that most children (and some adults 🙄 ) dread when they hear it begin (after the first time). It took me 16 minutes to finish. Today, I decided to really say it. Really mean it, and as I said the prayer I began remembering saying it on my own as a teenager, a young adult, and in later years. I remembered the various feelings: Mind-wandering, coming back to the words, questioning my attentiveness, feeling the sincerity or lack thereof, and hoping I was reading the prayer right; with the proper intonation, pronunciation, etc. Fearing judgment. I remembered all of that and got rid of it all today. As I kept saying this prayer it changed from being a “prayer” I was simply reciting, to being as if I was actually telling it to someone. At some point I remembered the belief that we are God, that God is within ourselves, and at that point the next two verses reaffirmed it all. I won’t say which verses as I don’t want to change your experience; if you were to read this prayer.
I remember dear Daaji talking about grace. This feeling I had today? This was grace. I can feel it in the air, still, since I started reading at 10 am. Still lingering gently, having gone from a powerful, grateful-tears-inducing strength, to being like a beautiful energy calmly flowing through the house and around it.
So let’s move to the second book. The Book of Rumi. I closed my eyes & flipped pages & randomly stopped at 1) The Snake Catcher & The Thief; which was about hidden blessings & God’s protection & His plans even when we don’t understand what any given situation may actually mean in the grand scheme of things (even just on an individual level…as individual as that can actually be 😉) And 2) Jesus & the Skeleton: a story about God’s wisdom and also that it’s for the best that we don’t get everything we want when we want it.
Such serendipity, I tell you.
Theeeennn… these two random Four Agreements pages (24 & 25) that talked about dishonoring ourselves to please other people, and about how harshly we judge ourselves against a picture of perfection, and end up rejecting our own selves.
Lastly came in The Heartfulness Way. Part of a portion I hadn’t yet read…toward the end. Here is a photo of it:
Again… the perfect gift to add to my healing package today.
Lastly, I added a quote from @kamleshdaaji on top of this stack and you have today’s remedy for how I have been feeling these past couple of days.
Although I did not write anything in my notebook, I wanted to remember to write something after finishing my reading. It didn’t go that way, but that’s okay too.
If you should happen to feel low, please know it’s okay. It’s okay to look at yourself and see your “ugliness” or mistakes, anger, sadness, etc… Then take the same amount of time, or maybe just a smidgen more, and look at yourself to see your beauty, or braveness, strengths, your achievements, etc…
Don’t you have to have something to match a thing to, to judge it? Something of some sort of perfection? But how can you compare yourself to a.n.y.o.n.e else when you’re the only person who is you? Even comparison to your own past self is bullsh*t as in some way, you are no longer that exact person & you will never be again! This is very freeing, in my opinion. And the standards of beauty we follow these days (for the most part) are based on these unhealthy views of ourselves.
If you’re having a rough day, please remember you are not the only person going through it, and it is okay to ask for help. Blessings are around us. Feeling good/fortunate/happy/mad/angry/blessed is within our own power…moment by moment. Of that, I am most definitely sure, and I hope you know that too.
Sending waves of love out there. Grab yourself some 🙂